Credits
(The Places I've Been)

* * * * *

Like many things, comedy venues
vary greatly in type and quality.
These ratings are from a comic's perspective, but they mostly would work for someone attending a show, too.

The following ratings are based on the standards established by the U.S.C.A. (United States Comedians Association), which in turn are based on the U.S.D.A. (United States Department of Agriculture) ratings for beef.

Evaluative criteria (based on having performed at each place from once to over a dozen times) consider physical aspects of the room (size, stage, lighting, sound system), the audience (size, attentiveness, mental and hygienic capabilities), and the compensation (tangible and otherwise).

These are listed in order of when I performed there.

PRIME - A real audience, real pay (for the most part), really real

Piccolo's - Westfield, MA • A great little theater in the back of an Italian restaurant, hosted (the show, not the restaurant) by Dan the Librarian.

Groucho's Comedy Club @ Makoto's - Melbourne, FL • Host Nurse Bob, headliner Artie Fletcher, and 250 laughers. Nice.

Europa - South Hadley, MA • I hosted this local stop on the Left Wing Laughs comedy tour, featuring Mike Stankiewicz and headlining LWL founder John Briggs.

Mystic VFW - Mystic, CT • No stage, no performance lighting, a microphone the size of a Twinkie, yet a great night. Why? Because the crowd (once the talkers left) was there to laugh, and the comics gave them what they wanted. That it was a benefit show made it all the better. Hosted and coordinated by Dave Zamoider.

Route 63 Roadhouse - Millers Falls, MA • The Second Sunday Comedy series runs on one Sunday a month (guess which one). The Roadhouse is my baby. My raucous and damp-diapered baby, held in a lively bar located north of Amherst and south of Greenfield.

Majestic Theater – West Springfield, MA • I was the lone comedian on a variety show contest. Voting was done by the audience and some mystery judges, but despite bringing no one, I $nagged third place behind some adorable teenagers. The audience ranged in age from 9 to 70-something, and I'm somewhere in between those two extremes. I believe the key to my success was the magic power of my ukulele.

Hartford Funny Bone – Manchester, CT • I guess the Manchester Funny Bone is in Hartford. "Funny Bone" is a good name for a comedy club, or maybe a wacky orthopedic practice. (That's the kind of weak joke I strive to keep out of my performance.)

The Shea Theater – Turners Falls, MA • A cool venue in downtown Turners Falls, produced by Scamps Comedy Productions, I appeared on the Larry Lee Lewis Comedy Showcase along with Johnny Joyce and Andrea Henry.

Striker's Pub – New Bedford, MA • A fun show produced by Smokin' Joe Holden - on my night there, Tim McIntire headlined, which is a good thing to happen.

Hooker-Dunham Theater – Brattleboro, VT • This is a cool theater built into a former alley. Headliner John Turco referred to it as a "dungeon." It's also a nice performance space, with theater seating. (A Scamps Comedy Production.)

CHOICE - A good workout room (for comedy, not bodies), with a real audience

Emerald Isle (Big Funny Sunday) - Dorchester (Boston), MA (RIP) • "Big Funny Sunday," with Chris Tabb & Corey Manning, and bass-booming DJ music to bring you up on the stage.

Webster Theater Underground - Hartford, CT (RIP) • A there-for-comedy audience usually redeemed the dramatic (euphemism for "seedy") neighborhood and (ironically?) overpriced drinks.

The Comedy Studio - Cambridge, MA • The Studio is considered by some people to be a launching pad towards stardom for comics who are much younger than I. Hosted, owned and run by Rick Jenkins.

Ebenezer Choo's - South Hadley, MA (RIP) • Silence the pool tables and put on a comedy show. Somehow, it worked.

The Elbow Room - West Hartford, MA (RIP) • No stage - you perform with a fish tank gurgling behind you - yet the audience makes this place work. Hosted by John "Johnny Shittsky" Mason.

O'Driscoll's Pub - Wilbraham, MA (RIP) • An Irish-ish Pub, located close to the Palmer border. Kind of feels like "Palmerham," or "Wilbramer." With your Franco-American host John Laviolette.

Jitters - Southington, CT • At Jitters, the entertainment goes like this: music, then comedy, then more music. I ask you, what is the most important part of the sandwich?

Main Pub - Manchester, CT • The Main Pub gets promoted to "Choice" based on the second show I did there. It's all about me, me, me. UPDATE: Then I did a third show there, but I don't feel like moving this entry again.

Pioneer Arts Center of Easthampton (P.A.C.E.) - Easthampton MA • A good, nearby (for me) spot to get seven minutes or so, though look out for the P.C. (politically correct) atmosphere, and be prepared to sit through high school kids "doing" "comedy." Hosted by Jennifer Myszkowski.

Prospect Cafe - West Hartford, CT • A nice room with an intimate and diverse gathering, which is pretty rare in comedy (or elevators, or anywhere), hosted by Linda Morgan and Barbara Jurgelas. UPDATE: Now hosted by Trent "Airball" McIntyre.

Williams Restaurant & Tavern - Gardner, MA (RIP) • I did the monthly "Comedy Idol" show, hosted by Sheila Van Dyke and populated by a slew of high school and post-high school kids, some adult couples, and me. There were no snotty British judges.

Springfield Turnverein – Agawam, MA • Comedy in a German club with a bowling alley downstairs. Das guten, schnitzels! Hosted by Roddy Thomas.

Rumble Seat Bar and Grill – Chicopee, MA • Loud, stage-less, no mike ("mic") stand, but the audience was paying attention (despite tbe five TVs tuned to three different ballgames). Hey, you never know. And now I can say that I've performed in The 'pee (meaning Chicopee, not incontinence).

Shea's American Bar & Grill - Manchester, CT • When you cut through the noise and lack of stage and TV competition you've got a bar show - just a noisy, stage-less one. (More TVs and less attention than Rumble Seat, above.) (This show was borderline "Burgers Only" classification.)

Coconuts - Springfield, MA • Good place, good crowd, good show, at the untropical "X" neighborhood of Springfield, hosted by Steve "Steve" Nagle.

Mahoney's - Worcester, MA • Small place. Small audience. Big laughs. You never know. Hosted by James Dorsey.

Bender's Bar & Grill - Worcester, MA • This is called the "Boo or Brew" show: after your set, the audience decides what you deserve (a boo, or a beer). It gets the folks involved, and makes for a fun show (hosted by Orlando Baxter).

Mystery Lounge – Cambridge, MA • This Tuesday-night summer show at The Comedy Studio was a variety show, with magician Joe Howard (who also hosted), a juggler from France named Etienne (who had a French accent only when he was onstage - vraiment!), and me (whose performance put him in a league with Louis CK and Tony V - it's a long story, so ask me the next time you see me, if you ever do, and have the time for the story).

BURGERS ONLY - Hit-or-miss, based mostly on the audience

Neighbors & Company – North Haven, CT (RIP) • A biker bar, or it should be. Bonus: next door, what looks like a syphilitic motel ("We'll leave the light on for you at Motel Syph").

Stephanie's - Chicopee, MA (RIP) • My first (and only) time here, a guy held up Interstate 91 traffic (and, more important, the show) by threatening to jump off a bridge. As one comic said at the end of the night, we all wanted to join him.

School Street Bistro - Westfield, MA • My one show here, the audience was, uh, not exactly a MENSA gathering. I did not realize this until too late (I went on after the host). I guess if I'd been smarter, I'd have realized more quickly that they weren't.

Shea's American Grill – Manchester, CT • Again, one show (so far): Sports on the TVs, no stage or lighting or clear sight views, but some of the audiencewas there to laugh. Hey, that's an OM (sometimes).

DRINK, DON'T EAT - COPFOC (Comics Performing For Other Comics)

Emerald Isle (Wednesday Night Soup Kitchen) - Dorchester (Boston), MA (RIP) • Wednesdays mean(t) a genuine open-mike - you show up, you go up - run by Rich Gustus.

3G's Sports Bar - Worcester, Massachusetts • You can find comedy every Saturday night at 3Gs ("Millbury Street's hidden jewel"), led by sage and generous über-host Andy Paquette. Order a Narragansett, settle in next to a genial crackhead, and enjoy the show.

Pyzzz - Putnam, Connecticut (RIP) • Elusive Location + Intimate Setting = Fun Show, hosted by the worldly (comic-wise, at least) Scott Higgins. I'll (probably) never forget C. Night, or the show attended by a 9-year-old girl.

Southwick Inn - Southwick MA (RIP) • After a good start, there eventually was the sense that the often-drunken regulars resented that we were invading their home.

FOOD POISONING - One visit convinced me to keep it to one visit

Sophia's Sports Bar - Springfield, MA (DRIP*) • My experience here led me to coin the term "ballcap bar."

Ups 'n' Downs - Dorchester (Boston), MA (DRIP) • Ballcap Bar, Part Deux. Should be renamed "Downs 'n' Downer 'n' Downest."

Crossroads Route 20 – Palmer, MA (DRIP) • I would call this place a ballcap bar but that wouldn't fully convey the imbecility of its management and clientele. Yes, I just spoke ill, but not of anyone in the comedy business, so it's OK.

Sweet Jane's – Hartford, CT • The one time I was here, this place drew comics from Connecticut, Massachusetts and New York. I did not meet Jane, so I cannot vouch for her sweetness, but I have my doubts.

* The "D" before "RIP" stands for "Don't"

CONTACT US:

TO BOOK ME (for a show, not a crime): contact my manager, Sherman Gold, at Sherm@LaughAtDave.com

TO BUY ME LUNCH: contact my secretary, Lila Froth, at Lila@LaughAtDave.com

TO COMMUNICATE with DAVE YUBRUH himself: contact him (me), at Dave@LaughAtDave.com

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